Recently, I read an article about early motherhood and sex drive. The essence from Laura Fox’s post: there is more to a deep relationship than sex. You can connect with your partner in many ways that don’t include sex. But with humans, sex seems to be on their minds all the time. Our society is almost obsessed with it.
Sex is the instrument of life
As the famous yogi Sadhguru says in his book ‘Inner Engineering’ regarding animals, ‘the urge is present in their body at certain times; otherwise they are free from it’. His plea: human beings should accept their biology for what it is. The instrument of life. Only because of it do we exist and because of us, so do our children.
We want to feel united with our partner
Especially as a young mother, the urge for sex and sensuousness is rooted in our wish to feel unity with our oftentimes neglected partner. (New) parenthood takes a lot from a human. Everything is thrown for a loop — our bodies, our sleep cycles, our daily lives. We experience fatigue and moodiness, which can make our intimacy difficult. We may not even feel ready psychologically. Furthermore, in the midst of our life, there is this new bond with our baby.
But deep within us, there’s an existential urge: we want to become a part of somebody who is not us. Especially, in the crazy days of early parenthood, we want to experience a state of union with our partner again. To celebrate passionate quality time with our life companion with the help of our physical body.
How to add sanctity?
You can perform a simple act of sex or you can make it a sacred act of love.
But how can we add sanctity to sex? Yogi Sadhguru says this is possible by
- being conscious and willing.
- paying loving attention to the other involved.
- recognizing the sanctity of your encounter.
To follow this philosophy and by expanding your mind, you may find that you don’t need sexual intercourse to feel united. There are so many other loving acts on a physical level two lovers are capable of.
Simple things can become the most intimate
For me, the most intimate moment is when my husband reaches out his hands. This is a loving invitation for holding my hand. It might be in the morning when we’re lying in bed, or across the table when our baby is having a major meltdown. It might be when we’re sitting in the car or when we are hiking together in the woods.
I will never let go of your hands because I want to hold it forever.
My hands seem to fit in his like they’re made just for me. And every time our palms touch, I don’t want this unique feeling to stop. Holding hands with my baby’s father makes my heart so happy and I’m proud to have him in life.
According to yogi Sadhguru simple things like holding hands can become the most intimate. ‘Two palms coming together has more intimacy than the contact of any other parts of the human body’, he says.
It’s all about energy!
Furthermore, he explains that it’s all about energy. The energy system finds expression in this part of our body in a very unique way. We have two energy systems. You can call them yin-yang or masculine-feminine; and there is a special connection between both. By holding hands with your loved one you can harmonize your energy systems and become one.
I could conquer the world with just one hand as long as you’re holding the other.
‘Namaskar yoga’: exercise for yourself
You don’t have a partner at hand? No worries! Here’s a simple exercise just for yourself — In traditional Indian ‘namaskar yoga’ you put the palms of your hands together in front of the chest and pay loving attention to the moment. That’s a sacred hand position. At the moment you let your palms come together you can feel a sense of unity within yourself.
If you let this sense of awareness into your life, your experience of life will never be the same.
My Final Thoughts
- There’s more to a deep relationship than sex.
- To feel unity with your partner, you can make sex a sacred act of love. Moreover, there are other loving acts on a physical level. e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands.
- Holding hands especially can become the most intimate act of love. By holding hands you can harmonize your energy systems and become one.
Try to be more mindful. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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The post The Most Intimate Thing You Can Do With Your Partner appeared first on The Good Men Project.
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